Home Manager - Dad :)

This was shocker waiting for me today morning when I went to the kitchen to make my dad breakfast (Mom doesn't live with us , hence I'm incharge). My dad was in a great mood and hence wanted to help me "Arrange" the kitchen.
I whole heartedly appreciate his effort and I love him for trying to be so sweet :) But I just had to share here, My dad's idea of an arranged kitchen... God help him after I move out...

Day 5 - Operation Scare-the-Little Freak

The kalyana chatram was now empty and operation clean-up was going on and all of us were required to help. Since I'd slept all morning I got the night shift along with three of my cousins (1 sister and 2 brothers fyi).
We did not get around to doing much cleaning since by 11 'o' clock we had managed to only throw things at each other and become tired. Settling down in the chatram itself for the night, my brothers and I hatched an evil plan.

We were talking about how, when my little sister was born, we were required to baby-sit her and she was never co-operative (she always used to pee on us). As she got older, we took revenge on her by locking her up in a room all alone, running away while we played hide-n-seek and she always ended up finding us immersed in some other game in a remote place, threatening her to dance or we would lock her up with the ghost in the bathroom (which was usually one of my brothers draped in white sheets). Sigh! those days.
[Do you think this is why she created an aversion to the very sight of us?]

Well, last night, she was fast asleep. She looked so peaceful, we could not tolerate it.
[ Let me call my brothers Kanaku Pulla and Vaathi (One is a B.Com student and the other is a Lecturer in a college, I know we never grow up).]
Kanaku had a brainwave and we decided to relive the old days. :D Even though Vaathi was acting all against, we managed to pull him on to our side.

Operation Scare-the- Little Freak was set rolling.

Scene : A room in the chatram, dimly lighted by a 0 watt bulb.

Vaathi: Ammu, wake up, Pri is missing.
[ammu wakes up all groggy]
Ammu: Is that why the room is silent? She must be in the loo or something.
[my dear sis takes a stab at me even when half asleep]
Vaathi: Illa di. Something is wrong, we came up together but she is missing. Come help me look for her.
[my sis agrees reluctantly]
[Both carry a torch and start looking around. My sis is such a wit, not once she thought of switching on the lights (exactly like we were hoping - or the whole plan booos)]
[Vaathi and sis marching in the dark looking for me]
Ammu: Are you sure she would've come here? I dont like this place. Its so eerie at night.
[turns back to realise that its not vaathi but kanaku standing there]
Ammu: AYE! When did you come?
Kanaku: Yenna di? Gone mad? I only woke you up and brought you here.
Ammu: Aye you people are playing with me again. I'm going back.
Kanaku: Fine go alone. If they find you dead tomorrow morning, I wont be responsible for it. Pri is missing already.
[Ammu is visibly confused, teary and angry at the same time]
Ammu: But I'm sure it was Vaathi who came with me.
Kanaku: SSHHH!!!!! do you hear that?
[Ammu breaks into a sweat]
Ammu: What?
Kanaku: ssshh!!!!!!!!!! LISTEN...

[JHAL JHAL JHAL... sound of chalangai.]

[Ammu is paralysed]
Ammu: Its behind me no???? YENAKU PINNADI THAANE IRUKU????
[I'm standing behind Ammu with face painted in sunnambu holding a flashlight below my chin (its off - climax cue is yet to come]
Kanaku: Illa di loose. If you want turn around and see.
[Ammu rotates slowly rooted to the spot and that my cue]
[Tak! The torch is on]
[Ammu sees me emits a high pitched scream and starts running around the hall. Vaaathi switches on the light! and Ammu sees us three rolling on the floor laughing so hard!]

Well the aftermath: She complained (tattle-tale) to anybody who would listen. We were heartily congratulated by our other cousins, who deeply enjoyed the blow-by-blow of the incident. The parents punished us in a really silly way by giving us chores to do (We caught them laughing about it in private). It felt refreshingly good.

PS: Avaloda saabamo yenaamo I don't know I'm down with fever today.
PPS: Thanks to my new chalangai type golusu (anklet) which has earned me a new nick-name Mohini Pisasu.
PPPS: I'd like to clear a mis-conception by mentioning that Mohini was not a pisasu but the female form taken by Vishnu (not the blogger guy) during the Kurma (pronuounce "KOORMA" not as in chapathi side-dish) avtar, to distribute amritham to the devas (who are always helpless despite their powers)
PPPPS: I'm nowhere near dismantling adulthood, judging by the way I've been behaving since this blog was created. I'm now considering re-naming the blog "Climbing Up and Down the Ladder of Time". Tell me your views on that and also why my sister hates me - I'd like to know :) :)

Day 7 & 6 - Iyer Ootu Kannalam

Tension and temper both running high today. One of my cousin sisters got married today.


Everybody except the groom seemed to be angry, sad or simply bored.
I was given driver duty - i.e. ferrying people and things back and forth the chathram and home (It is really not worth being the only youth around without a job and with a license sometimes!!!)

Well marriage is usually a thiruvizha affair in my family, considering there are hardly any girl children in my family (3 is the exact figure, now down to 2).

Marriages in my family, are usually a match-making get-togethers (Its like, another one down, lets hook up the next), this one being no exception.

All the aunty folk spent their time eyeing each other's bling-bling and attires. Exchanging top-secret-military-info about how the bride/groom were hooked up, and checking if there were any eligible bachelor(ette)s left on the other side so they could try bringing them together. There is always the talk of how much the bride is bringing along with her. (I could go on here and there would never be a stop).
The uncle folk, joked about their married lives (sigh! brave entities these men), eyed their respective aunty folk secretly to make sure they were out of ear-shot before they could talk about their yester-year girlfriends, some talked about their career, investment, money. Some were worried about missing the ODI today. But, mostly they were wondering every few seconds, when the food will be served. (And obviously the list stops here)
I stood in one corner, and watched as the groom tied the mangalyam. I watched as my sister was beaming one instant then in tears the other (only a woman can manage to do that). I also overheard too many people already getting excited about getting me married (I'm next in line. Thank you). I also made a mental note to ask someone to get an escape vehicle ready outside the chathram's ventilator :D

PS: Sorry about the title - but I overheard one of the passers-by commenting that it was an - "Iyer ootu kannalam" (Singaara Chennai-in iniya Tamizh vaazhga)

Day 12 - Part 2

I thought this day would never end!!

I started going on early morning walks [from today :)], accompanied by an extremely nosy and gossip mongering neighbour. The girl just has to rant about who wore what and did what and said what every second of a conversation [ which usually is a monologue if I'm on the other end ].
I did not know anyother way to keep her quiet, so I put on my headphones and she got the message :D

I was also planning on crash dieting, when my guruji effectively scared me that I will put on double the weight I lose after I quit the diet. (:O), so I made sure I ate properly today.
Classes cancelled again!! No surprises there.

My grandma's brother fell down and I was posted on look-after duty at her place the whole day...


I had a chance to browse my old writings.. And I hit upon my favorite one...

The Fates....

Where goes a slain hero and why?

The former answer is available not.

The answer to the latter.......

Fates rule life....

God has given us no choices,

"Given our choice we would raise our voices", says a soul.

"Against god?", is what I ask.

Getting an answer is a mammoth task.

Says the same soul - "There is no end to the misery that God giveth.

Given a choice , I would choose happiness to get."

Asks the soul -

"When will sadness end? When will the rules be bent?"

Acceptance is the way ,

But who listens to this say...

To all this and more, I am immune..

To this tapestry of life, I have been sewn.

No one escapes the Fates...

Happiness is but a bait -

Thrown by God , for accepting life and its ways...

"When will the book of Fates be shut?", The soul questions.

I reply... when the threads of the tapestry will be cut.....

PS: I end abruptly, for the lack anything else to say. :) Do rate the poem :)

Back to day 12 - Sedated

With my shifting postponed to 31st, and classes being cancelled left and right, I'm finding myself at home, in front of my laptop, online 24x7, nearly everyday.
The first two days it was fun. The third day it began to affect my brain (The parts that are still unaffected that is).
The fourth day, I spent as much as 16 hours sleeping. It was like I was sedated or something.
 To pour fuel on fire, dad and mom left me home alone, and went out of station to attend  marriage. The whole day, I was paralyzed on the bed.
I was just starting to think I had hit rock bottom, but I dug deeper and jumped in, when I was half way writing a post and it kind of wasn't saved, (and I still have no clue as to what I was writing about, when i fell on the laptop and slept. I woke up the next day morning, to find the light on in my room)
Thankfully, my dad has come back, and I now have work to do. :D
Will post something that is a non-polambal tonight :)

Day 11 - Deepavali Day 2 (Grandma's revenge)

Today started off insanely early, with mom propping me up on a chair, while i was half asleep and pouring nalla yennai on my head ( They could sign a contract for 25 years to extract oil from my head you know? ) and nagging me constantly to have bath soon (Kind of difficult when she keeps knocking on the bathroom door ten times a minute, simply because the neighbors started bursting crackers).

To my greatest disappointment, she had my saree waiting when I came out, and I stuggled for around 1 hour to drape it properly. Then came the duty of distributing sweets to the neighbours. Half of them could not recognize me immediately because of the saree - AWKWARD!
(The aunty folk fell laughing saying "drishti suthi podu" and "oh! unaku maapla paarkanum" , I mean wtf? I wear saree one day and they are ready to get me married!!! )

The torture did not end there. My mom would not hand me my new jeans, because it was black .( "No Black during festival. You can wear in the evening" :P)

I had to roam half of Chennai, visiting every athai and mama and paati, with the saree on! (Thankfully it was held up by two dozen safety pins. Bless the man who invented them!). And everyone seemed to have made only gulab jaamuns (If I see another jaamun today, I swear to god.....!!!!!!)

I was having a tough time walking around!

By the time I came back home, I had sworn several times, in extremely filthy language may I mention, like a thousand times ( to myself ofcourse, my mom would have me hung). But every oncoming 100 buck note with the vethala paaku, kept me quiet :)

Back home, I retired to a simple meal of mom-made dosas and sambar, and after watching Dashavataram for like the umpteenth time, I'm here blogging :) (Beasuse ma specifically told me not to sit online and get to bed early :D Blogging secretly, knowing mom is right in the next room and she will scream herself hoarse if she catches me, is so cool in a weird way :)...


Hope you guys had a great time too :)


PS : I stoppped bursting crackers a couple of years back, for no reason. Its so much fun even without them :)
PPS: Paati, I hope you are extremely happy now! I have roamed around with a constantly pink face!!!!

Day 12 - Neer Roppara Pandigai ( Water Filling Festival)

Diwali starts today night.
If my laptop had a mouth , it would scream. I'm typing this with half dried marudaani (on the other hand
now).

Okay so, today we had this, literally traslated, water filling festival :D
Its celebrated, to symbolically worship all the holy rivers, especially the Ganges.

Mom started off by making me smear a big steel pot with sunnambu (someone tell me what it is in english!) and then filling it with water and muttering a sloka at top speed.

Well then we lighted this awesome terracota lamp, with a Ganesha on it.

Then ofcourse, there is a tradition of making of hot bajjis and pakodas and my ever favorite kesari :D Thats diwali day one at my place :) Hope u guys are having a great time too...

PS: Thanks to Editor in Chief, Changing Crow... for the follow :)

It must be the aliens!!!

Day 16 continues...

Have you ever experienced something completely incredulous in life, that you wonder how on earth it even occured?

 Like when my best friend got 54th rank in state entrance, she called me and said, "Lets throw the aliens a party. They've been kind" :D

Well, moving on... Today was one of the most peaceful days of my life [I thought I'd lost those since the day I joined engineering :) ].

Apart from falling asleep in class and burning my finger trying to cook, today was pretty uneventful.
I even seemed to know my way through all the household funiture today [That almost never happens!! I bang into everything, everyday].
I was on time to class - considering I waded through the wonderful Chennai traffic and heat for around an hour and half for a 5 km journey.
I avoided every argument throught the day with my boss aka my dad [I'm rather proud of myself for that one :) ]

Wow, is this really the first day I actually behaved like an adult, or are the aliens controlling my mind using mind-control beams guns to turn me into some kind of an-almost-perfect earthling??
Even mom was impressed with me scheduling classes everyday to keep me occupied [ I wish she never finds out what I do there ].
And one of my best friends, who always blasts me every morning for dozing off while texting, has actually slept before me. [ I can confirm that, because I have given him like 50 missed calls in vain.]

And before I crash - I got one thing to say - "It Must Be The Aliens" :)

Day 16 - The Routine Monster

Sigh!
The last time I followed a routine was I think around 6 months back, when I was still a college goer. That seems like ages ago now.
My mother is trying in vain to get me addicted to a new routine, so I can follow it when I got to work and stuff, but its not working and my mom doesn't know.

Here's what I'm supposed to be doing...

6.30 a.m. - Wake Up
6.31 a.m. - Brush teeth
6.36 a.m. - Get the milk, Boil it and Make coffee for dad and me.
6.50 a.m. - Start Making Breakfast
7.30 a.m. - Have bath and dress up
7.45 a.m. - Serve Breakfast
8.00 a.m. - Catch up on current Affairs
8.30 a.m. - Lock the house and get to class.

But this is what I actually do :) ....

6.30 a.m.                   - Wake up and hit the snooze button
6.31 a.m.                   - Press the stop button on the alarm (snooze timing is 1 min - mom's idea of joke)
6.31 to 7.30 a.m.       - Doze back again, while dad gets the milk, boils it and makes coffee for himself.
7.31 a.m.                   - get woken up by dad - give an apologetic smile.
7.32 to 8.00 a.m.       - Loiter around, for a loss of better thing to do
8.01 a.m.                   - Spot the newspaper and go through gossip. :)
8.20 a.m.                   - Reheat frozen food mom packed during the weekend, Breakfast is served :)
8.45 a.m.                   - See dad off, and get back to bed.
9.45 a.m.                   - Think about getting up again, but go back to sleep.
10.15 a.m.                 - See the time in utter shock.
10.16 a.m.                 - Shock passes.
10.15 to 10.45 a.m.   - Brush, Bathe, Dress, Eat, Lock the house and race to class.

I shall stop writing at this point, to save myself more embarrasment :D

Day 17 - The Countdown Starts

Today the countdown, to me actually taking up responsibilities, starts.
With 17 days to go, I've taken up the mammoth task of packing. I have a whole wardrobe to fit inside two big suitcases.
WIth an over-exited dad constantly hovering around giving me horrible tips, and with mom not living with us anymore, it makes it a teeny weeny bit difficult. My room now resembles an underground dumpyard of a clothes factory.

Considering I unearthed quite a bit of junk , through this whole packing process, I have decided to make a will and leave of certain possessions to certain people.
Here it goes...

1) I leave all my funky tee-s to my mother's maid's daughter (I put this one first, and I also had no choice in it cos my mom has already done it)

2) My complete Key-chain collection goes to my dad - he fancies shiny stuff and I'm sure he'll enjoy sporting one everyday)

3) My eraser and sharpner collection  - to anyone who is willing to take them.

4)My Jingly-Jangly crazy tribal kind earring collection - again to anybody who is willing to take them! ( I cannot believe I wore such preposterous things to college!)

5) My books - to mom (Cos she has no use for them what-so-ever and she loves books and I dont have to torture myself maintaining them :) I love my mom for being a clean freak sometimes )
6) My laptop, phone and cd collection to myself - cos too many people have an eye on these and I dont want a WWIII.

I'm not going to even bother mentioning my barbies and teddy bears! [ Ok i did mention it :P]

This should free my mom some confusion as to how to dispose off everything I have....

The countdown continues ..... :)